Last night during a breakdown I asked my boyfriend why he loves me so much? What do I give to him it get such support back? etc.. He replied “your unconditional love. I know no matter what I do you will always be excited to see me and tell me you love me. You’re like a puppy.” It was adorable and sweet I love him and it really made me feel better.
My car ran out of gas yesterday because the wifi at work crashed and I couldn’t transfer money for a fill up. Well I call my mom (who is two miles away) instead of my boyfriend (who is eight). My mother had a “oh fine if I have to” tone the whole time. Then when she got here she scolded me for a normal accident. I was so embarassed Iwas in tears the rest of the night. My boyfriend held me all night while I cried and his dad told me they would always come save me if I needed them. I am so greatful for them but I honestly can’t let myself accept thier love. I constantly feel like I don’t deserve it— though I know I put my karma chips in with all the bullshit. I love them unconditionally but I just can’t accept the same from them. I feel guilty about being loved because I never have been. With a childhood filled with mental and physical abuse, and epilepsy that ostrisized me from anyone in school I have never been properly cared for emotionally. And now that I finally am I feel like I’m just not allowed to be okay…
why do i keep gaining so many followers……….
Cause you’re funny and rather cute. Plus your blog gives decent love advice